he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
