did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
