guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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