PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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