Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.

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(406): View more from Montana

I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.

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(734): View more from Michigan

The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.

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(315): View more from New York

It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios

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(330): View more from Ohio

Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever

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