turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
