im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
