Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
