Me too!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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