tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
