so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
