my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Are we still banned from the library?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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