I looked at my own cervix.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
