Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
