I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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