You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
