Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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