She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
