Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Everyone says I win the strip club
I would fuck him just for his dog
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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