You're a womanizer and a bitch.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
