Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish i was in the wii world.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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