Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
