I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
