Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize