my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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