In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
