How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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