Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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