Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
