this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My liver is preforming stress tests.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
