This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
