she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
