how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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