i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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