I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
