but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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