obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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