I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
