So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
