Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
