shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
