and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
