physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
