What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So squirting runs in the family.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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