i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
NoShamevember. You game?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
