pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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