No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
