I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
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I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
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he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize