remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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