Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
