I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
did i walk over a car last night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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