May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
