Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i've created a new STD.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
