were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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