If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
