brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
