I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
