Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize