That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
