Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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