No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
