4 words: hood of his car
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
