i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
